Bluffers’ guide to wedding speeches

YOU don’t have to be a professional public speaker to give a good speech. Wedding speeches are a time to celebrate the couple, but they can cause the speechmakers restless nights in the run-up to the reception. Relax and read our bluffers’ guide to making a memorable speech.

Who makes the speeches?

Traditionally the bride’s father, the bridegroom and the best man make speeches. In recent years there has been an increase in brides and maids of honour giving speeches as well.
Unless you have an MC, the best man normally acts as toastmaster and introduces all the speakers. First to speak is the father-of-the-bride. The basic content of his speech is wishing the couple health and happiness and he welcomes the bridegroom’s parents, all relatives and guests and then says a few words about his daughter, before welcoming the bridegroom to his family.
The bridegroom responds to this speech on behalf of himself and his bride; sometimes the bride will make a speech as well. The bridegroom gives thanks to his parents and thanks guests for their wedding gifts. He mentions absent friends and finally gives a toast – and gifts – to the bridesmaids.
The best man responds to his toast on behalf of the bridesmaids and then delivers a light-hearted speech about the bridegroom and happy couple.

Preparing for the speech

Preparation and delivery are the most important aspects of giving a speech. Look at other people’s speeches online or in books to give you some inspiration. Think about the audience, what the other speechmakers will be saying and also consider how formal the occasion is and whether jokes will go down well or not.
Make notes or highlight key points in your speech, but try not to read it word-for-word. It will sound mechanical and everyone will see your hand shaking as you hold the piece of paper. Keep some reminder notes on flashcards in one hand, in case you need prompting. Practice, practice, practice until you are reciting it in your sleep and you are thoroughly bored of the speech.
Read it out loud to a friend to get advice about style and length, think about the room you’ll be in and how much you’ll need to project your voice.

Before you speak

Remember the nightmare where you’re standing in front of a large group of people and you suddenly realise they’re not all laughing at your jokes – they’re laughing at your undone zip? Well, try and put that out of your mind as you stand up to deliver your speech.
Take a sip of water, give the alcohol a rest and take a few deep breaths to calm yourself.

Delivering the speech

Your body language is important as you can make yourself appear relaxed even though your heart is pounding.
Stand up straight with equal weight on both feet and look around at the audience to give the impression of confidence. As you speak ‘sweep’ your eyes across the audience to make them feel involved. Slow down! Nervous speakers tend to rush and forget to breathe, leave time for pauses and breaths.
Remember that these people are your family and friends and are interested in what you’re saying. And don’t forget to check your zip!

Professional toastmaster, Peter York, explains how an MC can help at weddings: